I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
