im drinking this country out of the recession.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
