Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
