All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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