Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
