Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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