If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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