This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
