i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
