Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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