I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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