I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
