Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
