Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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