To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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