he wants to bone in the snuggie
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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