Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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