I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
