SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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