he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
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