Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize