Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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