Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
