Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
