what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
