he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think your dad took our porno
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize