I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
