look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
