Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize