this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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