Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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