do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
