Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
