He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
