you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
