can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
