you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
