return my video game
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
