I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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