hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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