So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
