During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
