your thong is hanging out like whoa
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
