I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
