when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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