you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
