THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
