Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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