So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
