have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
