You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
