I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
