All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just gift wrapped bread.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
